Mind: Still working on "Anatomy of the Soul" I have less than 100 pages left. I could have finished it this weekend, but I decided to get caught up on some blog posts instead. (I read what I write, that should count shouldn't it?)
Spirit: Oh Dave. Things aren't going so well for you at the moment. He's still being chased by a crazy king, and is currently hiding out in some caves in the wilderness. I was most challenged by the story of David cutting off a corner of Saul's robe while he was unknowingly relieving himself in David's cave hideout. Even though David's friends insisted that God had delivered Saul into David's hands to be killed, David chose not to lay a hand on God's anointed king. He trusted that God would settle the score. I have to admit, when I have the opportunity to "get even" with someone who has wronged me, I'm not sure that I always possess the spiritual maturity to choose the high road. I need to learn that God will ultimately hold everyone accountable for their actions. He doesn't need my help. Those who cause me harm will eventually answer to God, which frees me up from the poison of bitterness and revenge.
So, we're just about half-way through this journey. This week has been frustrating. I'm frustrated with myself and my inability to do the things that need to be done. It's not hard. I just don't want to do it. Seriously. The frustrating part is that I want to want to do it. I can sympathize with Paul in Romans 7:15-24.
For I do not understand what I am doing, because I do not practice what I want to do, but I do what I hate. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree with the law that it is good. 17 So now I am no longer the one doing it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my flesh. For the desire to do what is good is with me, but there is no ability to do it. 19 For I do not do the good that I want to do, but I practice the evil that I do not want to do. 20 Now if I do what I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but it is the sin that lives in me. 21 So I discover this principle: when I want to do good, evil is with me. 22 For in my inner self I joyfully agree with God's law. 23 But I see a different law in the parts of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and taking me prisoner to the law of sin in the parts of my body. 24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25 I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, with my mind I myself am a slave to the law of God, but with my flesh, to the law of sin.
Praise the Lord that even though I'm still trapped in this body of sin, He can still use me. Even on the days when I want to do what is right and I fail, I can rest in the assurance of His grace. I can dust myself off and begin anew with Him tomorrow.