April 8, 2013

Top Ten Reasons Why I'm Late (Preschooler Edition)

I'd like to say that I've always been the picture of punctuality. The truth is, I've been running late since birth. I've raced to beat tardy bells. I've sprinted across campus to make it to an 8 AM class (one time I even showed up with my shirt on inside out . . . but that's another story). Most times I made it with only a few seconds to spare, but I usually made it.

Then, I had children, and I was never on time again . . . or at least that's how it seems most days. I swear, some days it feels like they hold secret meetings to conspire ways to make us late.

Ben: "Ok, here's the plan. Mom just hopped in the shower to get ready for church. I'm going to pull all of my clothes out of my drawers. I'm going to need you to spill something on the floor."
Andrew: "Sounds good. While she's putting on her make-up, I'm going to poop my pants and stick my toys in the toilet."
Ben: "Excellent. She'll never be on time!" (insert maniacal toddler laughter). 

OK.  So MAYBE that's a bit dramatic, but it never fails that the moment we need to be out the door, something happens. A diaper needs to be changed. We can only find one shoe. Someone has taken my wallet out of my purse (true story - I haven't been able to find it for the last 3 days). Something comes up.

I figured, when life gives you lemons; you make lemonade. When your kids make you late; you make an entertaining blog post. Chances are, I'm not the only mom showing up late with only half of the make-up on her face. So here, for your entertainment pleasure, the top ten reasons why I'm late - preschooler edition:

10. The sink is full of books.

9. The boys have helped themselves to the secret stash of chocolate I had hidden in my bedroom.

8. The cereal, which was stowed in the pantry, is now all over the living room floor because I forgot to lock the pantry door.

7. Someone has climbed in the toilet, splashed in the toilet, or put things inside the toilet.

6. Someone colored on themselves with marker "on accident."

5. Someone decided they wanted some peanut butter (and mom forgot to put it away). 

4. While in the bathroom "washing their hands" they decide they also should wash their hair by dumping half a bottle of shampoo on their heads and bodies. 

3. Someone colored on the carpet with markers. 

2. Someone decided that firemen need beards and mustaches . . .and apparently multiple uni-brows. (Don't worry, marker privileges have officially been suspended).  

And the #1 reason I'm late. . . . 

1. Because as the mother of a preschooler, life is always full of unexpected surprises. I wouldn't have it any other way. . . well, I might be able to do without the markers :-)



  1. As a mom of 4 grown children I can now admit I always thought it was something I was doing wrong! Afterthought seems comical but in reality - wow! I love the way you put it out there for us. Great post, Thanks for sharing!

    1. Lol, sometimes I have to laugh so I don't cry. I could have easily made it the top 20 reasons why I'm late. I think my boys are a bit more mischievous than the average kid. They certainly keep me on my toes. :-)

  2. LOL! That's great! I have 2 teenage boys now...I'm late for very different reasons, but loved the memory lane. Thanks!

  3. Good news! I found my wallet! Now all I have to do is figure out where my youngest put my debit card . . . at least I know it's somewhere in the house :-)

  4. Oh, your pictures are so adorable and your post so funny. Keep your sense of humor. It will steer you through traumas to come. ;-)

  5. Haha, this is great! I have caught my 2-year-old wanting to wash books in the sink... whyyyyyy? lol Oh the memories. :)

  6. This was pretty awesome. My kid is 18 months and we're accumulating a collection of these types of pictures.

    1. It's gotten to the point where I just automatically take my cell phone with me whenever I hear something "suspicious." Sometimes it's just too crazy to be believed without photo-documentation, lol.

  7. Oh, Sarah, I hope you found a better hiding place for your next stash of chocolate! ;)

    1. Karen, I did, lol. I've started keeping it in a cabinet above the refrigerator. Unless they figure out how to scale the cabinets (which I'm sure will happen eventually) it should be safe for a while. :-)


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