This week hasn't gone the way I hoped it would.
Rejection isn't easy. It's not easy on the elementary school playground and it's not easy as a grown-up either. I had my heart set on the #cinchspiration blogging program, but it didn't quite pan out.
I was going to work so hard, lose 30 lbs, get in the best shape of my life and win the $10,000 contract. With it, I could pay the rest of my husband's tuition, beef up our emergency fund, and cover some of life's everyday expenses. I had it all worked out in my head. It was the perfect plan. The answer to my prayers. The only downside - it didn't happen. I was left feeling disappointed and discouraged.
It makes me wonder - perhaps God withholds the "good" because it is not the best (either for us or for our family). Does that lessen the sting of disappointment? Probably not, but it helps to put it in perspective. If I truly believe that God is in control and that he has a plan for my life, should I feel discouraged when my plans doesn't align with His? It comes down to the crux of faith - do I live out what I believe? Can I trust that God's ways are better than my own? Can I rejoice in the fact that he has something else in store?
“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.
As the rain and the snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands.
Instead of the thornbush will grow the pine tree, and instead of briers the myrtle will grow.
This will be for the Lord’s renown, for an everlasting sign, which will not be destroyed.”
God tells us that he does things differently. His ways and thoughts are different than our own. This whole "name it and claim it" mentality is not Biblical. As a Father, he welcomes us to bring our petitions and requests to Him, but sometimes he has to tell us "no." To demand that he do our bidding and always give us what we want, is not a sign of faith, but sign of childish pride. God will do what he wants to do, but the good news is that he has a plan, and it's ultimately for our own good and for his glory.
I'm thankful for my children. God uses them to teach me lessons that I'm sometimes too dense to get otherwise. My son loves cookies. Cookies are good. He sometimes wants them to the point that he gets seriously distraught if I don't give him cookies exactly when he wants them. Would I be a good parent if I always gave my son what he wanted when he wanted it? Would he grow and be healthy if I only fed him cookies?
Sometimes the things I want are cookie equivalents. They would be enjoyable and good, but they may not be the healthiest option for me, and God, as the perfect parent, knows when to turn down my request for something good in exchange for something that I need.
I really wanted to participate in the program, but I have to trust that there is something else in store. Something that is not only good, but great - something that accomplishes His purposes in a way that I can't always recognize.
I think it's perfectly natural to be disappointed, but instead of throwing myself a pity party (complete with a pint of Ben & Jerry's), I have to consider that God has something else in store. A perfect plan with eternal purposes. I choose to trust his timing and believe his promises.
" And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28