I guess it's technically too late to have a quarter-life crises (unless I plan on living to the ripe ole age of 112, of course), but I can't think of a better way to describe this season of life.
A few days ago I asked some of my Facebook friends to sum up their current daily life with one word. Some of the responses included words like blessed, crazy, hectic, fulfilling, and one honest response of "sucks." If I had to pick one word to define my life right now, I think I would choose the word "scattered."
scat·tered[skat-erd] Show IPA
distributed or occurring at widely spaced and usually irregular intervals: scattered villages; scattered showers.
dispersed; disorganized: scattered forces.
The phrase "Jack of all trades, master of none" comes to mind. If I focus on my blog, then my housework suffers. If I spend time at the gym getting my body in shape, then I'm not spending time with my family. If I work on generating a little extra income, then I am taking time away from my children. All of these things are good things, but I feel like they each are pulling me in a different direction at the same time. I want to channel all of these good things in the same direction.
I feel like I need to take a weekend, sit by myself, and get a plan together. To find some way to lasso these scattered ideas and activities into one cohesive unit. To streamline, so to speak, the many facets of my life (woman, wife, mother, blogger, frugal housewife).
Lots of businesses and ministries have what they call a mission statement. It defines their purpose for existence. That's what I'm looking for - a deep down, soul-confirming mission - a central plan around which I can focus my energies and attention.
What do I want to be remembered for? What do I want my legacy to be? What is truly important and what is just wasting my time (nobody better mention Facebook or Pinterest - surely I'm not the only one attached to these time-suckers)?
I think that I often go about my daily life without paying attention. I never stop to think, "Is this moving me in the direction of my heart's desire or away from it?" What am I working toward? What do I want the end result to be?
I'm looking for a central purpose. The Westminster Confession states that the "Chief end of man is to know God and enjoy Him forever." True, but how does that pan out in the individual's life? How has He equipped me to know and enjoy Him? How does this affect the way I interact with my family and friends? The way I spend my time and money? How does this influence my priorities? I want to see this principle wrapped up in my own skin. What would Sarah look like if her chief purpose was to know and enjoy God forever? How would this change the course of my day?
I was listening to a bible study last night while I was running at the gym. Beth Moore made the statement that we were all created for holy passion - if we don't fill our life with holy passion, another lesser passion will always take its place (jealousy, anger, worry, greed). Christ doesn't want to be our top priority he wants to be our life.
"Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory." Colossians 3:1-4 (emphasis mine)
My quarter life crises involves reconciling the holy with the ordinary. The eternal with the temporal. I don't want to go out and buy a sports car - I want my life to be significant. I don't want to race through the next twenty years at a scattered and frantic pace and look back on all of the missed opportunities. I want to make a difference. In the scheme of eternity, I want to matter.
Where do I begin? I'm going to work on my personal mission statement and you can bet your bippy I'll share it with you. You hold me accountable.
Do you have a personal mission statement? What do you think God placed you on this earth to do? I'd love to hear about it! Feel free to share in the comments section below!