July 29, 2012

I don't hate gay people

Before you read the rest of this post, I want to make a few quick disclaimers: This is a controversial topic and I know that people are very passionate about both sides of this issue. Please understand that the purpose of this post is not to start a heated debate or to make anyone upset. If you agree or disagree with me, that's okay, but please don't be disrespectful to anyone. This is something that's been on my mind a lot lately, and I feel the need to share my personal point of view.  

I don't hate gay people. That might sound shocking coming from a southern preacher's wife who grew up smack dab in the middle of the Bible Belt, but in light of the whole recent Chick-fil-a controversy, I felt compelled to clear the air. Do I disagree with homosexuality based on my religious beliefs - yes. Does disagreeing with someone's lifestyle mean that I hate them? Absolutely not.

I can't help but feel a bit defensive when Christians are labeled as ignorant, bigoted, homophobic morons. I can't speak for everyone (I'm sure that there are some angry, extreme people wandering around out there), but the majority of us choose to respectfully disagree. I never, ever, ever, ever, EVER think another human being deserves to be mistreated, ridiculed, or abused. Ever. That type of behavior should never be tolerated and it's not what the message of Christianity is about. I will fiercely defend any human being who is being bullied or abused regardless of their gender, race, or sexual preference.

Here's the deal - I know there's a lot of debate over the whole marriage issue. For me personally, I believe that God created marriage to be a symbolic image of the relationship between Christ and the Church. From the very beginning, the marriage relationship was meant to image divine realities, so when people want to "redefine" marriage, it's natural that those who adhere to these religious teachings feel the need to become defensive of the traditional definition of marriage.

As a Christian, I have chosen to live my life according to the teachings of the Bible. I do not have the freedom to pick and choose what I agree with and what I do not. I've heard the argument on more than one occasion that if we choose to label homosexuality as a sin then we need to adhere to all of the Levitical law (in regards to facial hair, skin conditions, diet, etc.).

The Israelites of the Old Testament (of which the book of Leviticus is a part) entered into a special covenant with God. God gave them a series of guidelines and laws which were intended to set them apart from the other nations around them - to make them a distinct group of people. Some of those restrictions included dietary law, punishments for those who broke the law, and guidance for daily living. These were special instructions to a designated people at a designated time. The Israelites and God entered into this special covenental agreement in which God agreed to bless and be with them if they kept their side of the promise.

The modern day church is not a part of the same covenant that God made with the nation of Israel. The church is a part of the new covenant that took place after the crucifixion, burial, and resurrection of Christ. In this covenant we gain access to God through faith in Jesus, and although we are still called to live life differently from those who do not believe, it has more to do with inward character and behavioral changes than any peculiar outward manifestations.

I have also heard on numerous occasions that Jesus said "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." Yep, that passage is in the Bible, but strangely enough, no one bothers to quote the words that immediately follow. Jesus then turns to the woman who was caught in the act of adultery and tells her to "Go and sin no more." Implying that what she was doing was not right and she needed to stop. Jesus didn't just say, "Hey, it's OK, no one's perfect, do whatever you want to do." He dispersed an angry crowd whose sole intent was to trick Jesus into doing something that they could use against him and turned it into a moment for redemption. He didn't condemn her to death, he tried to lead her to life by urging her to stop a behavior that could cause her harm.

With that being said, I do not expect  non-Christians to adhere to the same types of standards and values that I do. Why would they? I do believe that living your life according to Biblical principles is the best way. It's what I plan on teaching to my children. I have no control over the choices that other people make. If someone disagrees with what the Bible says they have the freedom to do so.

I don't believe it's intolerant and hateful to disagree with someone's choices. Lest you think that the Bible only singles out homosexuality, it also says that heterosexual sex between an unmarried man and an unmarried woman is also a sin (regardless of if you're a teenage couple or a 30-something.) I'm just as much opposed to premarital sex as I am to any other sexual sin. Is it old-fashioned? According to today's standards, probably so, but that's ok. I wholeheartedly believe that the standards set out in the Bible were created for our own well-being, not because God is some cosmic kill-joy. We all sin. Each and every one of us. No one is perfect. I'm not going to condemn, but I will stand by what I believe is right. 

Here's my summary:
1) It's OK to disagree with another person's choices. It's OK to express your own personal convictions. It is not OK to ridicule, abuse, or mistreat another human being because they make choices you disagree with. Just because someone disagrees with you doesn't mean that they hate you. They just disagree. 

2) I do believe that homosexuality is a deviation from God's plan for human sexuality - that the original design was for marriage to be between a man and a woman and that marriage was designed to teach us more about our relationship with God.

3) ALL sin separates us from a relationship with God. Adultery, sex outside of marraige, lust, and homosexuality are equally prohibited in the Bible.
4) Because we live in America, where we have the freedom to vote based upon our own personal beliefs and opinions, I have the right to support or oppose legislation that contradicts my personally held convictions. People who hold different opinions are equally entitled to make their voice heard through their vote. Because we live in a democracy, each individual has a say.  

I know this is not a popular opinion. I know that some people might label me as ignorant and hateful, but I'm really not, and honestly, those type of stereotypes are hurtful. I don't hate gay people. God has given us the free will to make our own choices, and people are free to choose whatever they want to. He's not going to force us to be holy robots, but as a good parent, he has also given guidelines for those who claim to be his children. Homosexuality, according to the Bible, is something that those who claim the name of Christ are not to participate in.

Tolerance is America's new holy grail. We are supposed to be tolerant of everything - even if it's in opposition to our religious beliefs. We're not allowed to respectfully disagree. You know what, I think love should be our new catch phrase. I can disagree with you and still love you in the process. You can disagree with me and that's fine. I'm not going to label you as bigoted and "Christ-tophobic." I'm not going to feel threatened when someone holds a differing viewpoint. I'm going to stand by what I believe in, just as you choose to stand by what you believe in.

Maybe you'll want to boycott me. If so, I guess I have no control over that. Maybe you'll stop reading my blog or tell all your friends to unlike my facebook page because I'm one of those crazy Christians who disagrees with your point of view. You have that freedom, but I hope you'll stick around. 

Thanks for hearing me out. I just felt like I needed to express what was on my heart and mind. If you're a homosexual who has been mistreated by those who claim the name of Christ, I apologize. That is not the message of Christianity. Christianity is about redemption and love - a God who pursued us even when we were opposing Him at every turn. He doesn't waver on His standards for holiness, but he welcomes us as we are and continues to shape and mold us into His image.



  1. I think your post is very well written, even if I respectfully disagree with your opinion.
    I think that America, as a whole, needs to decide whether we will have separation of church and state already. We can't combine the two when convenient, and separate them when it's not. I think that if we're not going to allow God in schools, then politicians need to quit using the Bible as the reason why Homosexuals should not marry.
    As a Christian, I believe that the most important part in TODAY'S world is to treat others as we would like to be treated and to do good deeds.
    Thank you for the good read.

  2. Great post! I completely feel the same way on this.

  3. I respectfully disagree with you.

    It's fine that you think homosexuality is a sin. I have no issue with that.

    The problem is when we start basing laws on religion - which is what politicians are doing when they do anything which opposes equal rights for gays. Our constitution CLEARLY calls for the separation of church and state. In fact, that desire for separation is one of the reasons this country exists.

    Basically, not allowing gay people the right to marry is a violation of their civil rights and it is appalling that it's 2012 and this kind of thing is going on.

    Lastly, homosexuality is not a choice. I know a lot of Christians want to believe that, but it is simply not true.

  4. I agree with everything Tara said, and I respectfully disagree with you. However, I think your post was written respectfully, and well. It's important to hold fast to what you believe, and not be swayed when you feel convicted:)I definitely will not be unliking your blog, and I think you are a wonderful person for loving people and showing others that you are not a "hateful bigot". You can disagree but love others:) Thank you for your post!

  5. This is the best Christian response I have read!

  6. Well written. I'm not sure why I expect your post to cause controversy.
    I also disagree, mostly for the same reasons as posted above. I think people are born gay. I don't think that every gay person is having sex. Just like I'm heterosexual and not sexually active, many gay people aren't either. I'm also a Christian, reading and interpreting the Bible, without putting my own slant on things. I don't think you fully addressed Levitical law. You mentioned it, said that we're not under the same law, but them dropped it. I kind of liken it to people who read the exact same book (The Bible), but then disagree on what they just read.

  7. Just what I needed. In the past couple months I have been attached by friends and family for standing up for what the Bible says. Even when I gave Bible verses to back up what I said, they would twist and pervert those verses and say I was a bigot and fag hatter. So I was able to use your blog to organize my thoughts and give a reply without specific verses. I think there are many people who study the Bible to try and find a way to make their sin somehow be ok and have become skilled at perverting God's word to justify their lifestyle.

  8. I agree with what you say. I also think that being homosexual is a mental illness because most whom I have asked what happened to them they will reply back raped, molested, absent parent. I also notice a lot of gay people will not believe in GOD to make their self feel better for committing the sin. I do not hate the person their self, just do not like the sin. I am not scared of gay people either. Otherwise gays are heterophobic.

  9. Beautifully written and absalutly spot! :-)


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